Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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