i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
