Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
