I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Just high enough for therapy.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
