My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
