i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize