the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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