when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
