It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
