and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Randomize
