jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
