i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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