I hope mine doesn't look like that
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Sorry about my life...
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
