And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
This is my gift to your gina
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
