I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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