Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
and she was petting her beer can
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
