ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
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We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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