This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
