4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize