I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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