He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
