I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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