you traded sex for a burrito?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
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