Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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