Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize