There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
