I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
