seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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