he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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