That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
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She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
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On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
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