I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
