great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
