i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
