Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
