wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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