Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Randomize
