I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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