And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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