Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
