He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
The beer is more important than you right now.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
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In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
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I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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