Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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