it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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