i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
