Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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