They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
