sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
