Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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