I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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