I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize