I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
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