My liver just broke up with me...
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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