Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
