The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
