Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
