there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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