Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize