Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
