So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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