wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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