How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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