i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
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